When Someone Really Gets You – Mindfulness-Based Therapy and Coaching Insights

How real connection soothes our inner critic and helps us feel a little more okay being

We all want to be heard. We long for connection. We feel better when someone truly understands us. We hear this all the time — but what does it actually mean?

I found my answer during a conversation with a close friend. The exchange felt really good — not just because it was supportive, but because of one powerful moment: my friend got me.

How did I know? She said something about me that wasn’t judging — just gently naming a behavior I had already come to recognize in myself. It was like she read my mind.

That moment did something inside me. The parts of myself I normally criticize were suddenly softened. Without even realizing it, I began to accept something about myself I usually reject. It felt so reassuring to know someone else understands me — that I’m not alone in how I think or feel.

A few words come to mind that describe that experience:
Validation. Reassurance. Acknowledgment. Empathy.

Real connection means someone sees you clearly, without judgment or agenda. It’s the ability to say: “I hear you. I see you.” Not to fix or evaluate — just to reflect what’s already there, in a kind and respectful way.

For example, when I’ve had a rough day, there’s something almost magical about someone simply saying:

“Man, you’ve had a hard day.”
Not trying to solve it. Just naming it. It helps me feel less alone.

That’s one reason therapy can be so healing. When you share your thoughts, struggles, or shame, you want someone who gets you — someone who can offer connection without judgment, criticism, or the urge to fix it.

It reminds me of Carl Rogers and his concept of unconditional positive regard — the idea that growth happens when someone offers respect and acceptance, no matter what. It’s that deep, steady support that allows people to soften and grow.

I think he was right. It’s important to feel that your therapist gets you.

Connection is what we crave. We’re wired for it. To be seen, heard, and understood — without trying too hard or feeling bad for who we are. When you strengthen those kinds of connections, both in therapy and in your everyday relationships, it really can change how you feel.